I need an outlet.
I started this blog in March of 2009 when I was a senior at Keene State College, needing an outlet from the stress of online poker (which supplemented my income). However, I kind of faded away from poker and also faded away from the blog shortly after.
Fast forward to now .. skipping over a college graduation, a girlfriend or two, a couple of blackout nights (understatement), a plethora of dramatic losses from either the Red Sox, Bruins, Cowboys or Celtics .. and here I am. Still alive and kicking (which I am going to consider a great success).
From the outside looking in, I would say I have somewhat a successful life. I now have a full time job at Bank of America; a nice apartment with my girlfriend; an amazing bulldog puppy which I adore and good group of people which I would call my friends.
Why do I need an outlet? This evening while casually watching the Colts/Chargers game on NBC, I started looking through all my old photos on Facebook. Looking through the pictures of all the crazy, fun or stupid times that I had from age 18-23 .. it REALLY dawned on me. I will most likely never have that fun again. Am I over-reacting? Possible. Why did it take so long for me to realize this? Well, to be honest, I was well aware those "best days of my life" were behind me, but for some reason, it really hit me hard this evening.
Looking through those picture(granted most of which I don't remember being taken), really just made me miss all my friends who are states away; it really made me miss the "college lifestyle;" it really made me miss the lack of responsibility and just the desire to have fun. Everyone will say, this is the real world. Everyone will say, you need to grow up. I understand that. I know I can't live my life like I did when I was in college; however, it is the realization of that which is most painful of all and seeing all the pictures really just drove that point in more and more.
I feel like this is a feeling that everyone must go through after attending college and missing friends that one would see or talk to on a daily basis. Responding to it, is a tough task. Early in the summer, I most certainly went through this feeling and absolutely hit rock bottom in terms of emotional stress. However, I came out on the other side a stronger and different person. So this is merely a relapse, one in which I am capable of handling. Although, it does not make it any easier.
So, this is my outlet. This blog will most likely cover a slew of topics. Anyone who reads it and wants to comment, go for it. Not ever entry will be like this, I am sure of that. However, just like in life, it will have good times and it will have bad times.
